Considerations

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
 (Psalm 103:8 NIV)

Which would you say is harder? Offering grace or receiving grace? For me, I’ve always found it difficult to give grace especially when I’ve been hurt by those who I am trying to extend it to. Recently an experience of extending grace to one who could be considered by others as undeserving of it, brought about the epiphany that grace can be just as hard to receive as it is to offer it.

After a contentious interaction with an individual that included unpleasant and inappropriate behaviors from them towards myself, the very next day I faced round two of us being in the same room together. God had given me a heads-up earlier that morning that another meet-up with them was very near on the horizon. Honestly I was not thrilled with this news but after receiving this forewarning, I immediately sought prayer from a fellow believer and then took the time to pray myself. My prayer was that I would be Christ’s fragrance and light despite what had happened the day before and that I would not hold yesterday’s events against them. In short, I needed help to show them grace.

Extending Grace

Not surprisingly, the individual made it quite clear that they were not impressed to see me again. My retort to them was that I initially felt the same way but that God had said to me that we needed another opportunity to try again. My retort was so quick that it had to be the Holy Spirit who gave me what to say in that moment. Their reply was, “God did?” along with a shocked facial reaction. After that, what transpired was a peaceful and smoother time together. And every meet-up since then has been to me shockingly easier and smoother despite our initial interaction. 

As I reflected on how things had gotten better between the two of us, another relationship that was once very rocky came to mind. In this relationship, things had taken on a positive outlook after I expressed “that what happened last week was just that… last week and today was a new day.” It was during this moment of reflection that this epiphany of grace came to mind: that being a recipient of grace can be just as much a challenge as it is for the one who offers it.

An Opportunity to Offer God’s Grace

The focus verse of Psalm 103:8 speaks of the Lord who is compassionate, gracious, loving and slow to get angry. There are many people in our world who do not know what these gentle acts look like as there have been few if any in their life that has shown them compassion, love nor grace but many who have shown them anger and harshness. For the sake of this post on grace, let’s explore what grace is and what it looks like.

According to authors Lori Rothstein and Denise Stromme, grace “is the act of giving acceptance unconditionally and voluntarily to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver.”¹

It’s not exactly the biblical definition of grace but very similar when it talks about giving unconditionally and voluntarily to one not deserving. The greatest example of grace would be in God’s demonstration of love for us when He willingly allowed His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us despite being undeserving sinners (Romans 5:8). He accepted us in our raw sinful state and still went to the cross. And it’s that grace He has shown me that compelled me to willingly and unconditionally accept the one who was undeserving of what I had to offer. I was not obligated but encouraged to do for another what God has done for me many times over: show me grace, compassion and love (Psalm 103:8).

An Opportunity to Receive God’s Grace

These two scenarios of offering grace were difficult for me but through the lens of what Jesus had done for me, I became willing to give it. But the epiphany that came to me during this was the challenge these two individuals might have had to be the recipients of the grace I was offering them. Both recipients were shocked to hear my gracious words towards them. They were probably expecting me to dish the same tone of anger and disrespect back to them. Why? Because that was what they were used to. To be accepted and welcomed back after being the offender was most likely not a normal occurrence for them. They didn’t know what to do with what they were being offered. Let me add here that this is not always the way I respond. Sometimes I can dish it right back but no one benefits when I chose to keep it ugly instead of taking the higher road.

I came to realize that this was not only a lesson on giving grace but also a lesson on what it means to be on the receiving side of grace. Unbeknownst to them, they had an encounter with God’s grace, compassion and love which I believe conveyed to them that they were valued and thought of as worthy of another chance. Maybe something they have rarely experienced if ever before in their lives. But it is what we in the Body of Christ experience daily … His grace, compassion and love. And as followers of Christ, aren’t we called to willingly and voluntarily convey what we have received from God to others, who are undeserving just like us, that they too may be the recipients of the same love, compassion and grace? Imagine the transformative impact the Church could have on our world if we simply and obediently passed on what God has given us! With this in mind, who could you extend God’s grace to today?

1. https://extension.umn.edu/two-you-video-series/grace#:~:text=Grace%20the%20definition%20is%20the,it’s%20the%20giving%20of%20acceptance.
   ↩︎